


Don’t Go Gently Into That Good Night

by QuickSilverFox3



Series: Nano 2018 [9]
Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Friends to Lovers, Gen, M/M, Mollymauk Tealeaf Lives, Religious Imagery & Symbolism, Resurrection, Sharing a Bed, Slow Burn, tags to be updated
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-29
Updated: 2019-03-08
Packaged: 2019-09-02 05:24:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,336
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16780486
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QuickSilverFox3/pseuds/QuickSilverFox3
Summary: In Caduceus’ defence, nobody had actually described Mollymauk to him.—In which Caduceus finds a not dead but dead tiefling who he very much fancies, feeds him and introduces him to the rest of the group





	1. I Went To Market to Buy A...

In Caduceus’ defence, nobody had actually described Mollymauk to him. He knew about the man’s two glittering glass swords, his long billowing coat marking a now empty gravesite, the cards that he used to tell the future in a weirdly accurate way that still left Jester reeling.

He knew that they still expected him to return somehow, eyes scanning the sea of faces every time they passed through a town or entered a tavern, shoulders slumping minutely whenever they did not see him looking back at them.

However not a single one of them informed Caduceus that he was specifically a heavily tattooed purple tiefling.

-

“Uh-Are you aware you’re dead?”

The tiefling tilted his head back to stare up at Caduceus, the firbolg casting a shadow over him as he waited patiently in the market, basket resting on hips.

“I figured as much,” the tiefling replied, shifting over slightly and patting the warm stonework next to him, “I’ve been dead twice that I know of, that sorta thing has got to leave a mark.”

Caduceus blinked.

“I’ll be honest, I wasn’t expecting that kind of reaction,” the cleric laughed, settling his basket on the floor and joining the tiefling on the wall.

“Do you have a lot of experience with dead people not being dead?”

The tiefling asked, tossing another sweet to land exactly in his mouth. The sweet scent of lemon followed the loud crack, the tiefling wincing and pushing a hand against the side of his mouth.

Caduceus waited, head inclined to the side as he watched the tiefling press a fingertip to the spot where he had bitten his cheek and withdraw it, red blood blending with purple skin.

“Well?” The tiefling prompted, mouth twisting.

Caduceus blinked slowly, mind rolling through the last few moments of his life.

“I have some,” he admitted, “They usually return to being dead quite quickly. None are quite as, well, alive as you.”

The tiefling cocked his head, jewellery gently tapping against his horns and grinned. The mere sight of sharp teeth pressed against lilac flesh, danger wrapped up in something soft sent a thrill down Caduceus’ spine.

“I’ll be honest, that’s quite a compliment,” the tiefling almost purred, tail twitching behind him like a pampered cat, “You sure know how to woo a man.”

Caduceus felt his face flush, ears burning as he shifted his gaze back to the marketplace. It was a good one, signs of a previously fragile set up shifting into permanence, wood shops replacing teetering stalls. People buzzed to and fro, some hurried and some calm. There was no shouting, no panicked screams. The sun beat down overhead. It was a good day.

“You okay?” The tiefling asked, eyes scanning the market place like Caduceus had just done. However the man looked worried, out of place, an intruder in the hive waiting to be found out.

“I am I think,” Caduceus answered, pulling his basket a bit closer to him, settling it once more between his feet.

“I used to take care of a graveyard,” he said, idly tapping his fingers against the cold stone, feeling the push of mushrooms begin to nudge against the pads.

“It was just me there after a while and I was at peace, just me and my garden and the dead who would stay dead.”

Caduceus could see it so clearly, light becoming muggy and shadowed as it filtered through the heavy leaves, fog swirling over everything giving it an almost surreal air, his mushrooms clustered together eager to see him.

“And then my forest started to die. I couldn’t hear Her voice anymore so I left with some people who stumbled across me to try and find Her.”

“I have a similar story,” The tiefling offered, patting Caduceus’ hand once in a gesture of comfort and solidarity.

“Does it explain how you are dead but not?”

“A bit? I’m not quite sure of how I managed it myself.”

The tiefling shifted on the bench, turning more fully towards Caduceus, tail curling in eye catching pattern, first over one shoulder and then over the other.

"I was another person before I was me. He was the one who found this trick. I awoke in my own grave and made my own way from there. I wound up in a circus before I decided to go travelling with a group. I died again and I don't know what happened to them. So I've just been roaming around, trying to do some good."

Caduceus nodded, mind ticking this over. The tiefling appeared to be honest and while some of his tattoos were magical, power oozing from them, others were not. The firbolg resolutely ignored the stray thought that he would like to inspect them closer for non-magical studying reasons as well.

"You seem to be different," Caduceus said slowly, ignoring the prickling on his skin that warned of the undead nearby, "Less undead than what I normally see, but less alive than a living person."  
"Have you ever seen anything like this before?" the tiefling asked, voice brightening with barely concealed hope, "I can't remember how it works or how it happened. I can't remember anything from before this life. I'm grateful I'm not fully dead but I don't know if it's permanent or not."  
"I couldn't say now," the cleric answered, shaking his head, "I would have to run some magical tests, get some others to help. There's a wizard I travel with, he is good with magical things like this."

The tiefling nodded, turning his face up to the sky, a flower unfurling under the sun.  
"I guess it was too much to hope for. An instant solution was never in the cards for me," the tiefling answered, letting out a low chuckle at some unknown joke.

"Are you hungry?"  
The tiefling blinked in surprise at the sudden shift in conversation.  
"A bit," he admitted, casting a longing glance at a nearby food stall and Caduceus didn't need to think hard to see that the tiefling was lying.  
"My friends took my money when I died," he said, shrugging with a self deprecating grin. "Can't say I blame them, but it does make living after death a bit more difficult."

"Wait here."  
Caduceus stood, feeling his bones creak and crack as he did so and made his way towards the stall. The scent of cooking meat became more intense, spices mingling with the sweetness of the honey, setting mouths watering at the other end of the market place.

"What can i get you hunny?" the stall owner asked, her voice high and chirping. She was a short dwarven woman, her beard carefully plaited and tucked behind a bright yellow cotton bandana that matched the one wrapped around her head, and bright red cheeks.  
"Can I have three meat skewers please?" Caduceus asked, giving her a bright smile.  
"Of course you can! Fifteen sliver pieces please!"  
The money clinked as it changed hands and Caduceus noticed the tiefling perk up at the sight of it. The other was trying to not be noticed as he intently watched Caduceus, but failed.

"Here you go!" The dwarven woman piped up after a few minutes, passing three skewers to the firbolg before beckoning the next hungry customer forward.

"Thank you," Caduceus said, smiling softly down at her and she twisted around to grin up at him, offering him a wink before her attention was taken back up by her steadily growing line of customers. The firbolg lifted the skewers into the air as he moved back to the tiefling, still sitting eagerly on the wall where Caduceus left him. Juice ran down the firbolg's wrist, leaving a trail of stickiness in it's wake.

“Here you go. It looks like you could do with a good meal. I'd cook you something, but this will do just as well," he apologised, passing two of the skewers to the tiefling whose eyes grew almost as wide as plates, gaze flickering between the offered food and Caduceus' face.  
"I- I-" the tiefling tried, taking hold of the food, unable to find the correct words, jewellery which decorated his horns shining brightly in the fully risen sun.  
"Thank you," he finally settled on, flashing a grin that was all teeth at Caduceus before wolfing down half the skewer in a few seconds, cheeks bulging as he groaned in pleasure, juice running down his chin.

Caduceus felt his face heat up, cheeks turning as pink as his hair before he bit into his own skewer. The food was good, warm and filling. He focused on the spices, mentally running through them. He knew the others would appreciate this taste, he could only hope it worked as well with seagull or whatever monster they found as it did with beef. However hard he tried however, he was acutely aware of the tiefling sitting next to him. He was a constant source of warmth, a beacon at Caduceus' side that he was inexplicably drawn towards, hopeless moth to a flame. His tail traced a path up Caduceus' arm, tickling in the tiefling's happiness as the other ate, licking the juices from his fingers with a wide grin on his face.

"Does- ah- does your tail normally do that?" Caduceus asked, curiosity driving him over the edge. He couldn't recall seeing Jester's tail move like that, the shorter blue tiefling's tail normally acting much more like he would expect an animals too, a simple extension of her to express emotion. This was like an entirely new limb and the firbolg's mind temporarily dipped into more heated uses for the tiefling's tail before he pulled his mind away once more. Jester may be very sweet, a bright light in the darkest of places and thoughts, but she was a terrible influence.

The tiefling blinked up at him in confusion, brow furrowing as he opened his mouth to ask before he saw his tail coiled around Caduceus' arm like a creeper vine coiled around a tree.  
"I am so sorry, it- I-"  
The tiefling gave up and shrugged, biting into the last half of his final skewer as he worked to detangle his tail, mumbling muffled apologies as his fingers ran involuntarily across Caduceus arm.  
"Fine first impression I'm making aren't I?" he chuckled, wrapping his tail around his hand, thumb running across the spaded tip, "You check that I'm okay, buy me food and I attach myself to you. Literally."  
"It's okay," Caduceus said, impulsively reaching across to squeeze the tiefling's hand offering wordless comfort, "My friends sort of broke into my home and I offered them tea."  
The tiefling chuckled at that, the noise morphing into full blown body trembling laughs as he tossed his head back, jewellery rattling together and shining brightly in the sun.

In that moment, sitting in the sunshine, warm and comfortable and with good company that twisted his emotions in a way Caduceus hadn't considered before, that everything was as perfect as it had every been. Caduceus felt Her hand in this, Her approval of his actions, warmth like a smile from a delighted doting mother.

"Molly?"

  
The tiefling's head snapped around, breaking the spell to stare dumfounded at Jester, the smaller tiefling motionless in the centre of the market before she screamed, dropping her packages and flinging herself at the man.  
"Caduceus you found Molly," she bawled, wrapping herself as tightly as possible around the tiefling, as if he would disappear from within her grasp like smoke.  
"So you're Mollymauk. Pleasure to meet you, the name’s Caduceus," Caduceus said, stretching out a hand to shake the tiefling's.  
"Likewise," Mollymauk replied, voice strangled from the chokehold Jester was currently enacting, his hand warm in Caduceus.

As the rest of the group came running, the tiefling vanishing underneath a crush of bodies and delighted shouts of his name, Caduceus rescued the bags in danger of being squished and watched his friends, basking in their happiness. The Wildmother was good, this was all meant to be and Caduceus smiled, seeing his path twist and solidify in front of him, the certainty of her hand guiding him discarding the bone deep terror which had been plaguing him for the past few months.

He couldn't wait to see where this journey would take him next.


	2. Devotion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mollymauk has a request for the cleric who raised him up

Caduceus had seen many different kinds of death. He had even killed himself for reasons other than just survival. He was a killer in the company of killers, and yet this was where the Wildmother wanted him to be. And so he was content.

“So how come you remember us this time Molly?” Jester asked, her eyes darting between the tiefling squashed in between Yasha and Caduceus and her sketchbook as if she couldn’t quite believe her eyes.  
“I’m not sure,” Mollymauk began haltingly, Frumpkin curled up and purring in his lap, one purple hand reflexively carding through the thick fur, “It might have been because my death wasn’t caused by a magic ritual going wrong.”  
“Well stabbing has it’s own kind of magic,” Beau chuckled, half slouched in her chair, swirling the beer round and round in her mug.  
“It was an experience like no other,” Mollymauk agreed.

Yasha made a small noise to his left. Caduceus didn’t need to look to see the pain on her face, shoulders held so tight she seemed liable to shatter. She hadn’t moved from Mollymauk’s side since the first hug, tears streaming down her face and distorting her war paint, one hand resting on his thigh. Mollymauk shifted, using Caduceus as a brace to press a kiss to Yasha’s cheek, his lips coming away stained grey. Caduceus didn’t move, too many feelings rattling through him to make sense of, the calm serenity of the Wildmother abandoning him at the first press of Mollymauk’s body against his. It was like he was trapped in the eye of the storm, winds whipping around him, and yet he revelled in the feeling, new and unknown.

"So can, can you remember nothing from when you were er- dead?" Caleb asked, leaning forward to be seen past Fjord, thumbs rubbing nervously at the grubby bandages wrapped around his wrists, Nott's large luminous eyes glowing from the depths of her hood, porcelain mask pulled over the bottom half of her face.  
Mollymauk grimaced, the faintest peak of his teeth pressing against his bottom lip. His eyes dropped, shifting to the side, brow furrowed.  
"Caleb! Maybe he doesn't want to talk about it! Maybe it was something super personal and he is embarrassed to tell us," Jester chided, her cheeks puffing out slightly as her tail flicked behind her. She let out a long drawn out gasp, slamming both her hands down on the table, Fjord managing to scoop up his drink a scant few seconds before she would have knocked it over.  
"Is it that you are in love with me?" Jester said seriously and yet not. She appeared to be serious on the surface, eyes locked on Mollymauk's even as Fjord half choked on his mouthful of beer, Caduceus slapping him on the back, hearing his leather armour creak, without moving away from the warm beacon that was Mollymauk. But just underneath, she was worried, nails scratching minutely against the wood of the table, bottom lip slightly curled out even as she tried to smile.  
"Yes Jester, I am hopelessly in love with you. But I'm sorry, our love can never be," Mollymauk replied, fighting to keep a grin from his own face, reaching out to cup Jester's face in his hands, leaning forward enough to bump his nose against hers.  
"I knew it," Jester said immediately turning to Beau and collapsing back into her seat, Mollymauk slowly settling back down, resting against Caduceus, lightly headbutting him with his horns as he tried to get comfortable.

"Reckon we should maybe get a couple of rooms for the night?" Fjord gasped, coughing as he fought for breath, voice hoarse.  
"Ah Caduceus?" Yasha asked quietly as Fjord, Jester and Beau slipped into room discussions, Nott keeping half an eye and injecting when necessary to alternative derail and maintain the conversation, Caleb having quickly drifted back into his recent book acquisition. Caduceus looked over, thin golden chains slipping over his lips, Molly slightly moving his head to ensure his horns didn't stab the cleric.  
"Could you stay with Molly? I don't- I can't," she broke off, dropping her gaze to her clenched fists, knuckles white.  
"There's a storm coming," Mollymauk murmured, his voice barely more than a whisper. Yasha looked towards them, her face grave, eyes dark and hooded.  
"Yes."  
"I'll look after him," Caduceus confirmed, Mollymauk's tail fluttering through his fingers, a living ribbon dancing in the wind.  
"Are you not staying with us Yasha?" Jester asked, Beau managing to pull of an impressive show of not listening while listening intently, firmly placing her elbow in a pool of spilled drink during her acting.  
"I... I can't."  
"Will you find us okay after?" Fjord asked, Nott taking advantage of his distraction to swipe the remnants of drink for her flash, the alcohol numbing a wound that was still fresh, even after what must has been years.  


"I will send you a message when we stop in a town so you can find us that way," Jester promised, clapping her ink stained hands together, eyes almost seeming to sparkle.  
"Thank you Jester," Yasha replied, shifting to stand up, her head almost brushing the low beams of the tavern. Mollymauk moved with her, rolling up onto his knees to wrap his arms around her, hands not meeting around her broad back as she buried her face into his shoulder. For a long moment, neither moved, both basking in a moment neither thought would happen again. But everything had to come to an end, something Caduceus knew more keenly than most, the sensation of death and decay something he carried with him everywhere he went. It went beyond the bags of carefully harvested mushrooms and tea from the Blooming Grove, the only home he had ever known. It was the fabric of his very soul, something the Wildmother knew and accepted. There could be no life without death.

Yasha and Mollymauk separated, Caduceus shifting forwards to support Mollymauk, the tiefling concealing a muted hiss of pain, the movement pulling at old barely healed injuries. One of which, the cleric suspected, was the one that had killed him for the second time. Yasha looked at him, worry building up in her eyes, the urge to stay warring valiantly with the need to go. Mollymauk twitched his head towards the exit, jewellery swaying softly.  
"Go on. I've got my own personal cleric to look after me," he said with a small grin, reclining back into Caduceus, the firbolg reflexively wrapping his arms around Mollymauk's waist. The scent of jasmine seemed to fill the air, a few dried blossoms clinging to Mollymauk's hair, but underneath it was the scent of clean dirt and fresh rainfall. There was something else too, lingering just beneath the surface and Caduceus pulled up his magic, feeling the warmth of the Wildmother's blessing like slipping into a warm bath.  
Eyes of the Grave burned as he drew on it, his eyes darkening almost imperceptibly. It tore at him, the urge to look but at the same time, a small strand of fear wove through his nerves. What would he see if he opened his eyes? It had been a sense on their first meeting, the Wildmother gently pushing Caduceus towards the lost looking dead yet not dead tiefling. He hadn't looked, he hadn't seen. And that not knowing was terrifying and thrilling all at the same time, an abyss under his feet that he didn't know how deep it was.

_Wait._

Her voice was a whisper, hands pressing gently against his eye lids in a teasing caress. The magic rushed out of Caduceus in a wave, exhaustion following on it's heels.  
"Ready to head up?" Beau asked, keys jangling in her grasp.  
"Me, Caleb and Fjord in one," Nott announced, swiping a key from Beau's loose grasp, the monk twitching her hand out of the way to avoid the sharp claws.  
"Me and Beau will share the other, and you and Molly can share a room!" Jester called from the stairs, bouncing in place, tail wagging furiously.  
"Well, er," Caduceus began, beginning to speak without fully knowing how the sentence was going to end.  
"You did buy me dinner, might as well go to bed now," Mollymauk teased, tail coiling around and around Caduceus' wrist unconsciously.  
"I don't think I have much er, much choice in the matter," Caduceus said with a small chuckle, raising his forearm.

Mollymauk blushed a pretty shade of deep purple, freckles splattered across his nose and cheeks, a pattern Caduceus had the urge to trace.  
"Guess I'm just attached to you," Mollymauk countered with a shrug, wriggling out of the booth and pulling Caduceus with him, lacing their fingers together. Jester let out a low whoop of appreciation, her tail speeding up in it’s wagging, Beau bearing the steady impact with a grin on her face. That only solidified Caduceus vague suspicions, there was some further context to this situation he was missing.

Travelling with this group had been eye opening in many ways, some good and some bad, but it couldn’t make up for the years Caduceus spent alone with only his garden and the lingering presence of the Wildmother. He was good with people, that couldn’t be denied, and yet they still surprised him.

“Jester seems very happy with this arrangement,” Caduceus murmured to Mollymauk as they slowly navigated the stairs. They were of a height while sitting but standing side by side made the difference all the more striking. Caduceus had to stoop to murmur into his ear, momentarily stunned by the way the digit twitched away, Mollymauk’s tail tightening his grip on his arm for a barely noticeable moment.

“She’s a good friend,” Mollymauk answered. Caduceus’ eyes narrowed slightly. He couldn’t explain it, more flash of intuition and a feeling in his gut than knowing the tiefling, but he was hiding something, uncertainty weighing on his tongue. Caduceus filled it away, retrieving his hat from Nott who had doubled back with a somewhat sheepish grin, ears drooped. Frumpkin attempted to slip through the door with them, but Mollymauk struck quickly, scooping up the cat and kissing the top of his head.

“Some privacy please Caleb,” Mollymauk laughed as Frumpkin let out a small mrow of discomfort, his pink tongue slightly protruding from his mouth. The cat let out a yowl as Mollymauk shut the door in his face, lightly scooting the cat out of the way with his foot.

"They missed you," Caduceus said simply, seeing the weariness bleed out of Mollymauk, his shoulders slumping, tail drooping, having freed Caduceus from it's grasp.  
"And I them. But..." Mollymauk paused as he strode across the room, carefully levering himself down onto the bed, biting back a groan of pain, teeth nearly breaking the skin on his bottom lip.  
"I can heal you," Caduceus offered, moving away from the door, Mollymauk's bright red eyes tracking him across the room.  
"Thought you only dealt with dead things," Mollymauk sighed, inclining his head towards the empty space next to him. He paused, frowning up at his jewellery, almost going cross-eyed to inspect the tiny chains. The firbolg ambled over, having to duck his head slightly as the ceiling sharply dropped off before sitting next to Mollymauk, similar to how they were yesterday in the crush around the single table but now they were alone.  
"You are somewhat dead after all," Caduceus said lightly, healing magic tickling the palms of his hands and yet he resisted. Placing his hands on Mollymauk would change something, twist this budding friendship into something new. His gut twisted, but with fear or longing he couldn't say.  
"Funny cleric," Mollymauk chuckled, holding himself carefully stiff, "I'd like healing please. From you."

It rushed out of Caduceus like a flood, releasing himself to the Wildmother's mercy to do as She willed him to. Mollymauk arched against him, hands curling in the bedsheets, talons ripping through the cheap material as easily as if it were paper. His breath exploded out of him, collapsing sideways against Caduceus as the magic halted like a puppet with it's strings cut. The pair remained there in silence, breathing in unison, a few golden sparks crawling from Caduceus to Mollymauk.  
"I need to ask a favour of you Caduceus Clay," Mollymauk said quietly, shifting to climb more fully onto Caduceus' lap, thighs straddling his legs, Caduceus hand's reflexively shifting to his waist.  
"Ask it. I mean- I can always try," Caduceus answered, his nose gently brushing Mollymauk's, close enough to count even the smallest of freckles in the corners of his eyes.  
"If I die again, or return to death," Mollymauk began, talons pricking Caduceus' shoulder as he stared into the firbolg's eyes, "and I come back as a different person. Someone named Lucien Nonagon, or as nobody at all."  
Mollymauk swallowed, his throat bobbing, drawing in a shaking breath before he continued, "I need you to kill me properly."  
"You're sure?"  
Mollymauk nodded, shifting forward the scant few centimetres that separated them to press his forehead against Caduceus'.  
"They love this me too much to ever give up on my return. If I die and _I_ don't come back, they won't be able to do what needs to be done. You can."  
Caduceus nodded slowly, not blinking as he gazed into Mollymauk's deep red eyes.

"I will."  
"Promise?"  
"I promise."  
Mollymauk leant up and kissed his forehead, his lips a burning brand that felt like a blessing.  
"I feel like I should stay here for the night," Caduceus said, smoothing his thumbs over Mollymauk's hipbones, gazing up at the tiefling above him with devotion.  
"I'd be grateful. Thank you Caduceus."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think <3

**Author's Note:**

> <3


End file.
